"Excuse me, do you speak English?"

woman: Excuse me… Excuse me, sorry, do you speak English?

1st man: (in perfect English) No, I don’t. Sorry.

woman: My car’s broken down, and I wondered if you could tell me where to find a garage?

1st man: Well, you know, that’s wasted on me. I don’t understand what you’re saying.

woman: You don’t speak English at all …?

1st man: Not a word, no. That’s one of those things where I wish I’d paid more attention at school, but…
(to 2nd man) Excuse me, sorry, do you speak any English?

2nd man: (also in perfect English) English? No. What’s the problem?

1st man: I don’t know, I can’t understand her.

woman: (to 2nd man) Hi. My car’s broken down, and I need to find a garage.

2nd man: No, I’m sorry; I didn’t understand that at all.

woman: Alright, thanks. Ehrm…

1st man: I’ll tell you what, if you go down that way about half a mile, there’s a village, there might be somebody there that speaks English.

woman: Ich speak ein bisschen Deutsch. Sprechen Sie Deutsch?

1st man: Deutsch, nein.
(to 2nd man) Sprichst du Deutsch?

2nd man: Deutsch, nein... nun, ein oder zwei Wörter, aber ich bin nicht fließend.

1st man: (to woman) So I’m sorry we were no help.

2nd man: Yeah, sorry about that. Hey, you never know, next time you’re over, maybe we will have learned a bit of English for you…

1st man: Yeah, oder Deutsch vielleicht…

2nd man: Ja, das wäre toll!

woman: (desperate) Thanks anyway. (walks away)

2nd man: I can speak English

1st man: So can I

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